The Big Easy

Music

Release Date: 11/12/2007

These are the jams that started it all. JJAHBG’s debut 2007 album The Big Easy contains JJAHBG’s first 13 tracks that ever saw the light of day. Rough, unpolished, and recorded in near stone-age conditions, this album is clearly the work of a pair of deranged madmen intent on recreating the blues in their own image. This album is a clear testament to the vision, determination, and musical incompetence of JJAHBG’s founding fathers Danger and Jesse.

Tracklist

1. The Ace of Hearts

2. Cheyenne’s Mailbox Blues

3. K’s Birthday Blues

4. The Brett’s House Blues

5. Memoirs of An Alcoholic

6. The Bunny Song

7. Lil’ Rascal (Someday Soon)

8. Thank You Menifee

9. An Easy Answer

10. Garden Gnome

11. The Life and Times of Mr Hugh Mann

12. Clown

13. Road Trip

Listen to JJAHBG

Lyrics

The Ace of Hearts

Who am I?

Who am I?

Well…

My name is Ace

The Ace of Hearts

And I’ve got bitches like Target’s got carts

All the men hate me

It’s because they know

All the ladies flock wherever I go

I just take off the shirt

Expose my chest to the sun

No female can resist, they come at a run

Oh, I’m just getting started here…

The Kama Sutra’s got nothing on me

I mastered that book as a young lad of three

I know the boom boom boom and the pow pow pow

I make les jolies scream and all the belles howl

I'm known as a priest from Long Beach to Long Isle

I suppose I’m familiar with the missionary style

Oh, there’s plenty more

If I were the moon girls would be my tides

It’s gravity baby

The attraction physics provides

Your mothers and sisters, your daughters and wives

I’ve had them all

I’ve enriched all their lives

You call me a player?

Such words make me frown

Because when I get you in bed, honey

I don’t play around

Bitches

And now you know

Cheyenne’s Mailbox Blues

Chey woke up in the morning

She wanted some mail today

She opened up that mailbox

But there was no mail in the way

Chey cries about it

Chey whines about it

Chey dies without it

That mail, that mail, that mail

That mail, that mail, that mail

Chey came in through the door

She don’t have a thing to say

I took one look at her face

And knew that no mail came today

Chey cries about it

Chey whines about it

Chey dies without it

That mail, that mail, that mail

That mail, that mail, that mail

All she wanted was a letter

A magazine, a bill would be better

She’d sign up for the mailing list

But she’s underage, the jerks won’t let her

Chey cries about it

Chey whines about it

Chey dies without it

That mail, that mail, that mail

That mail, that mail, that mail

K’s Birthday Blues

I work at target to pay my rent

Can’t buy any food

Buried in debt

Give me some rest

Ease my pain

I am K

I am K

My family's ditched me

Except that ass

Who needs family?

They all think I'm trash

Why am i here?

Must be a mistake

I am K

I am K

Don’t have a bed

I use the floor

When I try to sleep the cops bust down my door

I'm slowly dying

My blood's a stain

Really should have medicine

I am K

Mama don’t love me

Threw me out my home

Would have stabbed me in my sleep if I slept alone

Today’s my birthday

Please ease my pain

I am

I am K

The Brett’s House Blues

Brett’s baking brownies

The batter tastes good

My game is still loading

I hope it starts soon

I hate K La’fave and dog doo

Brett better get his shovel

Yeah, I’ve got the Brett’s House Blues

Brett's dad is breaking pallets

There is a twinkle in his eye

I'm glad I ain’t no pallet

Because I think they're gonna die

Don’t know much about the breaking

Because stealing is what i do

Still hate K La'fave

Yeah, I’ve got the Brett's House Blues

I am still Keanu

And the one is my penis

Memoirs of an Alcoholic

Well I woke up this morning still drunk from the night before

Got slowly up and headed out

Straight to the liquor store

I wash away all the madness that goes on day to day

They call me an alcoholic

I just say go away

I hate the world and all you people with all the fires of hell

But there’s no escape for me

So I just say, “Oh well”

Now I’m sitting here all alone with nobody here to save me

I take a shot of patron and say, “Give me a whiskey”

I woke up this morning drunk

Was once again very thirsty

And now I’m drunk again and it’s only 11:30

I hate the world and all you people with all the fires of hell

But there’s no escape for me

So I just say, “Oh well”

So if you see me on the sidewalk laying there kind of messed up

Please don’t stop and try to talk

Because I’m probably way too fucked up

The Bunny Song

I’m sitting in traffic

Fuming with rage

My belly is empty, oh so empty

But we’re so far away

This bunny keeps laughing right in my face

Oh I’m gonna freak out all over the place

I swear to God little bunny

I will fetch my machete

And insert it carefully in your eye

I’ve taken my vengeance

And scratched my windowpane

One eye short and he’s still laughing

Oh it hurts in my brain

I’m so sorry bunny

I wont do it again if you just go away

I swear to God little bunny

I will fetch my machete

And insert it carefully in your eye

Back on the streets with all of the assholes

Late at night is when I cruise

I see you stare from the wheel of your Mazda

When I’m done with the bunny I’m coming for you

I swear to God little bunny

I will fetch my machete

And insert it carefully in your eye

Lil’ Rascal

Buttoned my flannel, put on my old charger cap

Felt a little tired, so I took a nap

Juiced up my rascal, now I’m ready to go

Gotta get to the market before I miss my shows

Yeah I’m old and I’m grey

Been 20 years since I’ve had any play

So alone, getting fat

But I guess I’m too old to give a damn about that

Went to the bank to talk to someone today

But the tellers are busy

They just push me away

Stopped at the store to get some food for the night

Microwave dinner because my money is tight

When I get home I turn on the TV

Gotta unwind been a long day for me

Yeah I’m old and I’m grey

Been 20 years since I’ve had any play

So alone, getting fat

But I guess I’m too old to give a damn about that

Thank You, Menifee

Rainbow

Rainbow sherbet sunsets

Lemon scented trees

Lush green meadows

A cool, pleasant breeze

No complaining about the weather

A smile on every face

When I try to switch lanes

Someone always gives me space

My hair

My hair is slowly leaving

My teeth are doing the same

Please, please forgive me

If I can’t recall your name

The pain is now a dull ache

That I live with everyday

How can a little cell growth

Affect someone this way?

Something

Something rattles in my head

Awful closely to my brain

I’ve got maybe a month or less

At least I get a cane

You take all the hope and suck it out of me

I hope you’re happy, desert

Because you’ve killed me, Menifee

You take all the hope and suck it out of me

I hope you’re happy, desert

Because you’ve killed me, Menifee

I hope you’re happy you goddamned desert

Because you’ve killed me, Menifee

An Easy Answer

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

Well come right in and have a seat

We’ve prepared for you

You’ve been bad this past week

But so long as you pay, its cool

And remember, that’s gross not net

Do you take him for a fool?

We are the good, we are the righteous

And we are his tool

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

On your knees, you silly sheep

Or cook in a toasty pool

And don’t forget, do as we say

And not as what we do

Back off, you fearmongers

Your threats don’t scare me

Think you’re so smart, but I’m smarter

Can’t charge for what is free

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

I’ve got new shoes, man

Some navy slacks, yeah

A fancy sweater and some money in my pocket

Well, my conscience is not for sale

Unlike the rest of you all

And if you believe these promises

Then you're headed for a fall

My dear boy, you waste your breath

Because we’ve already won

There is an answer that’s the best

And that’s the easy one

Garden Gnome

In the fray it sits

Complacent and alone

Eyes unblinking

He is the garden gnome

Every day you wake, stretch and look outside

Right next to your window door the gnome just stares inside

You walk on your way out

Likely going to work

You look down and smile because you’ve got a garden perk

In the fray it sits

Complacent and alone

Eyes unblinking

He is the garden gnome

You see that he’s turned and not by your hand

There’s not a turntable beneath this plastic man

You sit and suntan on the lawn in the nude

You think that no ones there but I’ve got a surprise for you

In the fray it sits

Complacent and alone

Eyes unblinking

He is the garden gnome

My darling I love you every day and night

I long to just be with you when your beauty is in my sight

You don’t know that I watch from the comfort of my home

You don’t know I’ve got a camera in that gnome

In the fray it sits

Complacent and alone

Eyes unblinking

He is the garden gnome

The Life and Times of Mr Hugh Mann

Freedom, horrible sticky freedom

Torn from paradise by a doctors hand

Into a cold world, miserable and pathetic

Already wishing that you were dead

Hugh was a normal child, all he wanted was to play

Trouble here, a spanking there

Well that just ruin his day

Sent to school, by the man to learn shit he don’t need

Must have said something wrong at recess time

Because some other kid made him bleed

Freedom, horrible sticky freedom

Torn from paradise by a doctors hand

Into a cold world, miserable and pathetic

Already wishing that you were dead

Now Hugh felt the need to propagate the human race

But at every advance he made Hugh fell flat on his face

Schools done, so get a job or be thrown out on the street

Facing a life of toil Hugh admitted defeat

Hugh went up to take a bath and didn’t forget his knife

Waters hot, the blood runs cold

Yeah, he took his own life

Returned to paradise then something grabbed him by the hand

Can’t escape that easily and it all begin again

Freedom, horrible sticky freedom

Torn from paradise by a doctors hand

Into a cold world, miserable and pathetic

Already wishing that you were dead

Freedom, horrible sticky freedom

Torn from paradise by a doctors hand

Into a cold world, miserable and pathetic

Already wishing that you were dead

Clown

There are a hell of a lot of clowns in this room

They’re painting pictures and making sad faces

And I don’t know what to do

One of them is making a self portrait

The other is pulling a dog

Sitting right next to them is Jeremy’s sixth-grade picture

And his little brother’s too

No, I don’t like that drum beat, turn that shit off

No, too fast

Clown has pink hair and a lime green hat

Fucking necktie that says

Maybe it’s his name, I don’t know

Road Trip

Upon the open sea

Well, I don’t know where I'm going but I'm going home with you

Yeah

Getting all purtified

All my shit is tye-dyed

Heading out for a drink

Hoping for something pink

I see you in the club

My cock thumps from all the love

Take you there, in the car

Right outside of the bar

Stick shift, steering wheel

Enough room to cop a feel

Backseat, fitting tight

Will it work? It just might

This will take some teamwork

Give me a hand, give that a jerk

Well, I don’t know where I'm going but I'm going home with you

Yeah

Stop the car at your crib

Here take this, you'll need a bib

Turn off the lights, close the door

Unless you want a voyeur show

Hey girl, I'm down with that

Line em up, unleash my gat

No more playing, time for fun

Show me that sesame bun

Drop the drawers, don’t be shy

Although the sight can terrify

Waterbed, I'll sneak a snack

Maul you like a shark attack

Ass up, hows that feel?

When I’m drilling an oil well

By Jove, I’m rich!

Well, I don’t know where I'm going but I'm going home with you

Yeah

Bed is boring, let’s relocate

Do this on a dinner plate

Then move it to the laundry room

Turn on the wash then drop the boom

In the shower, getting wet

Now we're partying like its Tet

Getting down in the kitchen

Yeah baby, that’d be bitching

Cooking up some birthday pie

Just a little makes me fly

Cantaloupe, wait stop!

Lets put some cream on top

Finish up, time to go

Thanks bitch for the show

I will ravage your nation

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Music by JJAHBG